RIVERCREST YACHT CLUB

Back, Yo

On the Mic

DJMCDDS

Electronic Philharmonic

Borg

In Your Mouth

Shake!

The Gaucho MC

Robot Jox

The Panty Vigilante

Sucka MCs, Wack Rappers

H-E-F-F

Back, Yo  [top] Back to the Yacht Club, I’m leanin’ and swerving Cuz the girls keep searching for my cyclopean serpent Sister Strippers are with us from the Slipper cuz we’re tippers With bright rouge and knife wounds blowing tycoons like typhoons Poppin’ bottle tops with their tooth – I’m like deuce, cut loose and produce the cask proof Speyside, neat save the ice for the Thunderbird wine Then I get the hunger like I’m dying so I dine I thought I had a chicken in the kitchen but its missin’ not even a smidgen is left in the fridge and I’m pissed cuz all I got is some macrobiotic tofu and some mustard Damn I shoulda gone shopping when I had the chance Cuz the girls are wanting me to hop on outta my pants Taunting Mr Heffminster, please don’t dis her, come and twist her And, ladies, how are you getting home cuz we all can’t fit on my scooter? Heff’s Back, yo, more chilly than before Cuz I survived the fire of the Earth’s magma core See my proselytizing mission to bring the gospel of the jammin' Took me to the Mighty Molemen in the center of the Planet I got deep, yo, so deep I need a shovel To extricate myself from all this expository rubble I take it back, yo, like I put back Mr. Bubble Till my mind telescopes like it was made by Mr. Hubble Uh! I roll with a monkey and an old west Gaucho And me, with a hook nose and Heff’s golden afro But I suppose that’s how it goes when you spend dynamos for flows And in the throes of a Boze, get sloppy, dancing on toes I stole a Jalopy from a man who got too cocky Took his girl, though she was floppy, asking “Porque you so sexy, Papi?” Caught down in Mexico, taken by Border Patrol I got a presidential pardon but I put him on hold Damn, that shit is cold, my jalopy got sold I needed mucho senorita just to get my way home Now I’m back on the scene, as if I’d ever leave You clamor for the glamour of the RYC, and please, don’t tease, now we’re living the dream The club is jumpin’ and swingin’ like it was on a trapeze And I get down like Whack-a-mole, I’m here then I’m gone You never know what hit you but you damn well know it’s on Generic’s back, ya’ll, with a new place in history Can a plan and a van and a crew for solving mysteries I was fighting crime in Russia, chasing ghosts in Madrid And they woulda got away with it if it weren’t for us kids And now we’re back, yo, saw that beacon in the sky I got my voice-powered yacht to the ‘Crest in overdrive We came to teach the new generation how we roll Like when Kevin Bacon won the heart of John Lith-gow Strapped like a car seat but my gat’s my beat I got a yacht in the dock with NOS in the seat I keep it crewed with MCs and stocked with steeze We read frequently the urban dictionaries Yo I’m feelin’ amorous so uncap the cameras Perhaps the Xanax won’t sap my stamina I was gone for too long now I’m back in force It’s a pay for play buffet, Generic say the next course Like Lacan’s la langue we emanate from the part of your brain That drops names, creates slang and alcoholics Before meaning, in the field of the pre-symbolic We rupture like a polyp 817 is what we’re callin’ And we’re back, yo, with a new sense of purpose Got to the top of the mountain without oxygen or sherpas We got our party pants on and a fistful of nickels Girls are working extra shifts just to jerk our gherkin pickles Cuz we’re back, yo, bustin out our inner sanctum Straining sucker MCs like baleen through plankton We’re juicy like Couture and saucy like McRib Hittin’ skins like a seal, got arms like a squid

On the Mic  [top] All the best DJs have heard of me Cuz I'm cutting flows like I'm doing surgery Sendin all suckas straight to the infirmary MCs scared like they're down for perjury Keep it tight, right start to finish Like Popeye when he's eatin spinach Suckas see me like I'm a menace There all groanin like their speaking entish Cuz I'm silverbacked, I'm the alpha one Six switches on my block get my bitches on My Vauxhall Cavalier's got an anti-roll bar I never woulda bought it but the Hammer knows his cars It's looks kinda like a Pinto 'Cept more like a British Gimpa The call it a GL Saloon And I drive it like a wack baboon In the DF-Dub the Yacht Club was erected In the suburban hub the beats were ingested Electronic cuts produced by mad science We were illin' so hard like Dr. Phil's clients We're a breath of Fresh Air just like Good Morning Terry Jump on the hump just like a Dromedary Gotta grind it on the mic like millet, Can you feel it? Gotta grind it on the mic with the fervor of a zealot Back up as I let the flow go I got the club bouncing like a pogo Hands up and down like their on a yoyo I'm dropping bombs like I fly for Tojo I keep my life jacket on at all times Float by the boat when I drop my rhymes Feeling inside your box like a mime Switchin to the bass like Optimus Prime If you forgot, I was a dentist I'll hammer you like cement-a All the MCs on my block Getting drilled like their on my -What? - When I'm on the mic down at the club The crowd goes - woo woo - just like Bubb Rubb You're not gonna save the Rec Center at all Not until you learn to play basketball Don't panic our rhymes are panoramic Dynamic, Alpha to Omega cuz we ran the gamut Hot Damn it, we stack more cold cuts than a sandwich We demand it, throwing back further than a hammock We planned it, breaking yourself like ceramic Underhanded, aerodynamic from each planet To planet, we weigh in on the mic like a batholith of granite… Uh!

DJMCDDS  [top] I was leading a zebra to the Gaucho's hacienda Cuz he's got a pretty hectic zebra wrangling agenda I don't know much about navigating jungle routes I was just trying to help a fellow Yacht Clubber out It started getting dark and my spine started tingling I nearly crapped my pants when my cell phone started ringing It was the Gaucho MC who calling to warn me Stay away from the Southern territory There's a ziggurat on the magnetic equator And someone there's been trying to tamper with nature Steering clear of there is of the utmost importance And he couldn't say no more cuz they were tapping his cordless Damn never more had I missed my yacht Then when I looked up ahead and saw that ziggurat My zebra got jumpy and began to paw the mud His tail began to twitch and his eyes began to bug He tried to turn back from the path by which we came But a giant tooth brush blocked the way And then from a tree swung a new world ape He didn't have a tail and he could brach-i-ate He was wearing a lab coat with floss across his chest He don't play and he don't stress / He's DJMCDDS, fresh His dental hygiene is the best / He's DJMCDDS, fresh And then he broke it down like this: As a monkey dentist I can tell you don't floss You gums are black like sweet plum sauce You're teeth aren't white they're covered in moss I'll rip out all your teeth and I won't use NOS I won't use pliers and I won't use restraints I'll lean on you hard with my savage monkey strength I won't use my drill and I won't use my saw I'll use my bare hands to violate your jaw Those fucking cavities that I see in your maw And your lack of hygiene sticks in my craw A tooth is a cube, it has six sides When you brush you get three and you need to get five You should floss after meals or at least everyday And that will prevent that damn tooth decay It will also prevent me from kicking your ass Cuz I hate cavities like Gowron hates Duras You abuse too much of that cognac and 'cris And don't use enough fresh dentifrice So sit on that cushion and relax a bit Take a swig of this fluoride and rinse, now spit! Chorus I was chilling by the swimming pool sipping on a cola When I felt a sharp pain in my second pre-molar So I called up Heff for some dental advice Cuz I know he takes pride in his pearly whites I rolled up to the place that he told me to be And there was nothing but a tire hanging down from a tree So I sat down and read my Highlights magazine When a monkey in a lab coat walked upright to me I was smacking on my gum and felt a little nervous I said, "Three out of four monkey dentists prefer it." He said, "I may be the monkey but you are the animal, Your gums are receding and you're ruining your enamel." He clubbed me in the head and he fired up his drill And when I woke up all my cavities were filled I think about the ape every time I want candy I floss twice a day and I keep the mouthwash handy.

Electronic Philharmonic  [top] Remember when the RYC was starting out We had just four MCs and like seeds we all sprouted And for those who doubted and shouted and touted 'bout their clout Got re-routed and outed and now they feel left out They drop it like a brick and for those suckers we got no pity We're like Grace Slick in that you know we all built this city Whereas Gepetto in the ghetto built Pinocchio Our Robot Symphony was built with parts from Tokyo I'm on it, I'm on it, I've got my 'copter to the Cayman's With bionic harmonics, sonic atomic arrangements RYC is your mnemonic for the solid entertainment Hocking phonics like watches to show your optics what the game meant So cough up some payments for chopping knowledge to a layman Only woodgrain in your ride is the Nighttrain in your veins Refraining from laying down Major Payne like Damon Wayans Slayin dames with the brains cuz I'm hung like Hussein Chorus The sun never sets on this Empire Take the hose to these flows cuz I spit fire The Electronic Philharmonic, the symphonic is demonic RYC is all iconic, so laconic it's ironic I'm throwing beats to you kids like trick or treats to you kids I keep my flows so tight like the cheapest kid Killing suckers off young like they got sick with SIDS De La Roca wide open like retracted eyelids In the Yacht Club you're gone if you're not dropping them bombs Only straight pimps can slap with the flat of their palms It's on like Brook-lon when we're turning the knobs Up and down, back and front like a serving of flan Wack rappers step back and packs your tracks in your nap sack I'm rolling out my mack like it was stashed in my back pack I'm rolling so hard like Man-at-Arms in Attack Track Racking stacks of cash to back my robot muzak -uh! Laying out rhymes is our purpose, but the first is Turning you round our rubbers look like garden hoses When I'm hittin' from the back, girls beggin for mercy Like photon torpedoes I impact on the surface Chorus They call me G to the E to the NERIC Backed up by the 'Crest and our Robot Symphony Got presence cuz I'm gifted, close the case like Andy Griffith Got my hand around your throat like Murder She Wrote Meds fast at hand cuz I'm the illest man you know I'm the last man standing like Bruce Willis or Sanjuro So sit back and let's do this like a Buddhist While I bust my beats like a nudist from Bermudas Our Robot Army's on the march coming to your town Programmed for funk with a subroutine for getting down When I'm pouring the 'pagne I get lit up like Tron Then I Digivolve into MetalDrunkamon Bass towers over morals like Vehicle Voltron Robotic Philharmonic cooks the rhythm till molt-on Our Empire aspires to destroy with symphony Bustin beats through brick walls with out mental energy - uh!

Borg  [top] Me and the crew took the ship to warp drive After rescuing the Syreen on Epsilon 5 DDS had the helm, Chilly Heff had the comm I was rocking astrometrics half drunk on the Dom There was a large square blip on the long range scanner On an intercept course, so I fired up the jammers We took evasive maneuvers, but their tractor beam penetrated A voice said, "We are Borg and you will be assimilated" That damn green laser just inflicted some damage And damn there's some dude with a cyborgs appendage Now that I knew what it is we were facing I threw down some rotating shield modulation It started getting warm and affecting my mood So I sent Ensign Goldbrick down the Jeffries tube His fate was so quick, so sad, and so brutal The last words he heard were "Resistance is Futile" The drones had a jonze to add our culture to their own They took apart our turn tables and probed our microphones When I awoke I was connected to the whole Borg nation And a voice from the Collective said, "What's your new designation?" I'm Heffminster of Borg with a beat smorgasbord My wrist is a synth on my balls is Korg The shit went down when they assimilated me Everyone in the collective got FUNKY FUNKY Now there's a dip in our hips and a glide in our stride Not since Geordie met Hugh was there jive in the hive Now we're drinking Boone's Farm and trading our Pogs And the standard Borg greeting is "Ooo, Gottdawg!" I'm Generic of Borg bringing class to the game I add panache in a flash with a taste for Champagne My style is inefficient, a breach of Borg code All them drone's panties dropping my regeneration node I knew the Borg couldn't get me if I didn't make a fuss So I took the Shuttle out ended up in the Nexus Now Troy is my bitch and Kirk is a boozer And in the fantasy Data understands humor With their advanced understanding of humanoid genetics Generic and I got party popping prosthetics Bartending tools with Swiss Army aesthetics Our eyeballs are lasers, our party pants are magnetic All them Borg broads bore me with their upright position And their pale listless faces, hands cold as a mortician Borg babes give chase cuz I raised the stakes But Chilly Heff don't dance with silicon implants Everyone in the collective knew exactly what was missing Only DJDDS could complete our party mission We'll find that chimp's shuttle, quick on the double Just follow floating bottles of empty Mr. Bubble So we trained our hive mind on our newfound objective To add that monkey dentist to our perfect collective He thinks he's so bad cuz he went to Dentist College Soon the greater good will have his tooth brushing knowledge We looked up and down that Nexus like the Gaucho does skirts When a piercing siren sounded, "Intruder Alert" My crewmates were trapped within the Borg Collective Then Guinan showed up and we had a retrospective That's when I decided to take actions corrective And went back in time to violate the Prime Directive I enlisted the help of the Gaucho MC Cuz I knew he was sick with hepatitis B We beamed about the Cube and set our phasers on stun And set out to infect each and every one I woke up in Sick Bay crawling with nanites Cut off from the Collective, face looking like a Light Bright I'm glad I'm back to being a human being But damn, I miss my beer opening hand thing We're back safe and sound in the RYC Except for the Gaucho, balls deep in the Borg Queen.

In Your Mouth  [top] Wanna get you into my hot tub Let you rub on my chub Turn you round then make love all night Wanna get you out of that top Your panty's drop We won't stop, keep it stop Want you to shake it until it pops Hurry up and drop them drawers On the floors, here drink this Coors, It's made from water from the mountain And your butt needs some mountin' Cash runs just like a fountain Krugerrands is what I'm countin No doubtin', keep it up I'll treat your butt like public housing Want you to come to the grotto Get you blotto, pour a shotto Find your spotto, give you something real sick to swallow Want you to come to the studio Feed you fruitios, when I play the flutio Wanna watch you shake that booty, yo Call me H to the Eff to the Minster De La Roca Couldn't be more frosty if I was pushin the coca Groupies try to box me on the cushion of the sofa I admire their moxy but I don't dig on gushy cocha So I walk them to Generic, cuz he's the coochie soldier Chorus Quick don't think about all the places it's been All the butts its been in, all the sinnin' and trim Imagine it's a pen, and suck on the end Bite it and you'll win a slap to the chin Damn I don't know why you're not grinning a grin Perhaps your sis then, your phallic worshipping kin Like Scylla and Chayrbdis she devours the men Gobbles them up, bone, meat, and the skin I'm like Iceberg Slim but I got a little tummy Groupies serve me trim but I don't give them any money Pass the hors d'ouvres, the cheese, biscuits and the honey Please don't burn my eggs cuz I dig them kinda runny You think Generic's a cleric I'll treat your mouth like a heretic Drop you hard like a derelict Spit my rhymes esoterically Numb your throat with my carrot Hear you squawk like a parrot Bring a friend you can share it Bust a nut on your larynx Spray it like an oil derrick Your mouth keeps sparing your cherry

Shake!  [top] When the beat is on and sounds hard core I drop my banana and hit the dance floor My brain came from Philly and my body from the jungle So when I try to shake, I look like Mr. Bungle My disco moves require some exclusion Baboon can't do it with their anal protrusion Shake it like a British nanny Now bounce your fanny Like a coupl'a hams rotating in your panites Come with me to the VIP lounge and put in that CD with the get-down sound Don't be shy, follow me to the floor Turn around, feel the beat, and move that ass back and forth Damn that jelly's stellar like Mike Jordan's Space Jam I'd wreck in a second like a ride on Pan Am My beats are so Fat they played the King of Siam Cuz I'm a man with a plan and a catamaran I like by yachts by the yard and my shots my the dram And I like to see it shaken like the club of a cave man Shake it like the olive in Bond's martini glass We've never been stirred either cuz our rhymes got class We keep you mesmerized and your body gyratin' You're moving back and forth like your phone was vibrating While Heffminster's spinning and the beats fill the room Shake it like the ketchup as you feel the boom I'm a mad scientist cuz my rhymes are diabolical I conduct experiments into the phonological My beats are so solid in solution they're insoluble Like Kepler's Conjecture I'm so stump-the-chump unsolvable I spit the script so tricky like Azrael and Gargamel So shake it like your jowls when you chow down on McDonald's No panties can contain that butt when it starts to go Like Lou Ferrigno it's bustin out your clothes Keep it hot, keep it rollin' cuz your just not there yet You slap so much meat you should be wearin' a hair net Your butts mesmerizing, your shaking's got me crazy We'll dirty dance till red dawn like Patrick Swayze

The Gaucho MC  [top] The Gaucho MC was looking all morose His cheeks were pale like he had seen a ghost I said, "Gaucho watchoo thinking, Looks like you done some drinking," He said, "Sit down and I'll tell you of my woes." I said, "Gaucho MC, what's with the sad face? You're so happy-go-lucky your frown is out of place." He slammed down his hand and demanded Thunderbird His moustache was wet and his speech was slurred He said, "My zebra got out and I got the gout, I just went out with a stout frau with a trout-mouth, For her sloppy kisses I was such a junky, I was getting to second when she got thiefed by a monkey." He was looking a little meaner with every beer The fire in his eyes replaced the tears He loaded up his shotgun, I don't know where he got one But I hid under the table drunk with fear. The Gaucho MC knew his date's new date It was DJMCDDS, the dentist primate He mopped his brow and cocked his weapon A dentist monkey pelt the Gaucho was gettin' So the Gaucho runs into the jungle his moustache flappin like the wings of a turkey hawk, and he sees DJMCDDS up in a tree monkeyin' around with his girl, you know what I mean, and the Gaucho points his rifle, the Ape knocks out of his hand with a banana, and the Gaucho starts climbin' up and BAM! That trout-mouthed girl was stuck atop a tree You could that girl for miles for all her screams The Gaucho started climbin, that Monkey wasn't mindin' He knew that she was way out of his reach Well, that Monkey and that Gaucho fought all night When the two weren't lookin', that girl shimmied down the tree and ran off By the time the two noticed, well, neither one of them gave chase They just sat around sipping on moonshine till the sun came up Some say when the wind blows late at night If you listen hard enough, you can still hear her cry.

Robot Jox  [top] Just like the Challenger I blow up on the mic I got the warp speed flow and the super nova rhymes I got loose with Ms. Universe and tore off her sash Pulled her tiara off her head, launched my probe in her ass The Gaucho MC be poppin' the Dom P Swimmin' in the bub in the zero gravity He's got his space suit on so his ice don't melt He keeps his Champagne cold in his utility belt I'm the astronaut from the pampas below In my gravity boots with my bubbles in tow I ride in style always tall in the saddle Blastin' the ladies, I don't dilly only dabble Pleasin all lifeforms planet by planet They rock to my rhymes and gravitate like a magnet Unlike Armstrong who took a tiny leap I danced on his footprints when I cut this beat Chorus Yacht Club launching into space Use our DNA to rebuild the human race The heat resistant tiles protect our sweet rap styles We got so much flow we gotta keep it in vials Yacht Club bustin outta orbit Freeze drying caviar cuz we can afford it Got rockets on the yacht, strapped to the top Throwing around metal like Robot Jox I got the hellified lean cuz I'm in the backseat Of my Japanese made, mood roving jeep Bouncing over craters in seventy-inch dubs, Enticing moon maidens into making moon-love I throw around cheddar like it grows in the ground I love them moon pies so I buy them by the pound On the moon squash court I knock them all in But I don't score as much as that Dentist Sapien There's only one way to get dentistry in space You land on my planet and I get into your face I pull out your teeth with my fusion powered clamps While black monoliths stand next to my amps After the event you feel kinda funny There's something going on in your bulging little tummy There's a foreign body that's giving you the Fever And you have to strip down just like Sigourney Weaver Chorus I get thirty-two when I jet to work And it don't matter, Picard or Kirk In the cold of space we keep it grooving On the Red Planet we pretend we're moving Just because I'm Chilly Heff don't mean I'm frigid I love all ladies, even green-skinned midgets I'm flying over ditches cuz my skate board can hover I'm the Don Juan of space [You're an interstellar lover]

The Panty Vigilante  [top] Sopping up soup with his Houssein moustache Clocking slim slacks with his French Mickey Mouse cash Staring real sly from behind a curled eye lash Straight at the ass of the girls who walk past He's checking them out for the G-string ride-up You know the kind where the panties just climb up Seeking creeping cotton his eyes just light up He'd reach out every time if he didn't stay tied up The backs of pants get his fingers to itching But it's not the butt that he finds bewitching It's that fabric underneath - the tight white stretching That starts his evil mind to twitching and flexing He'll creep in your window, he'll lurk in the woods He'll do what it takes until he gets the goods He'll never stop although he knows he should You'll call him by this name 'cause you've understood He's the Panty Vigilante and he's jonzin' for some candy When he's putting out his hand he's really reaching for your fanny He's the Panty Vigilante and a their by profession The Panty Vigilante can't be stopped by normal weapons Deviated from the mean, like a statistician It doesn't add up when you do the addition How one man could have such a whacked-out obsession Chemical imbalance or childhood repression? But it doesn't matter now, there's no point in guessin' Don't bother asking cuz he'll ask the questions Saying a-ae-as-a-um like your doing declensions Cuz your hog-tied in a barrel and slathered with Wesson You're saying to yourself, "What a fucked-up predicament, How did I get into this, and how do I get out of it? There's so many panties this guy must get sick of it, Fruit of the Loom and Victoria's Sec-er-et." Knock your lobes 'cause my advice is legitimate Appeal with logic, use solid rhetoric Give him all your panties and then make a run for it Unless you're a Japanese school girl, and then just forget about it. He's the Panty Vigilante and he dresses like a dandy He sips on absinthe but he tells you that it's brandy He's the Panty Vigilante and he's pale like a mime, The Panty Vigilante's the Napoleon of crime.

Sucka MCs, Wack Rappers  [top] I spit dope rhymes in polyphonic prose If I laugh too hard rhymes come out my nose Wack rappers try to front, try to oppose But they got square toes like Ross Perot's Cuz I stir stuff up like a catalytic cracker Cut down wack rappers with an electric weed whacker In the universe I'm a supergiant Like Louis the Fourteenth in the War of the Grand Alliance Cuz I got more science than Worf got Defiants I hate wack rappers, hate them right in the ass I call out wack rappers like roll during class Sucka MCs I hate them too Instead of sucking on the mic you can suck on my shoe There's plenty more people that I also dislike But I reserve my fury for the suckers on the mic That's why I'm fading them, won't play with them And if they start to front I put a hole in their cranium Cuz I flow freely just like I was porous Suckers flow backward like a muttaburrasaurus With beats so soft you got them out of the back of a Russian diner Tracks all slack like the pants of a sumo fighter They ask me all the time but I won't make them tighter I hate wack rappers, hate them right in the ass I pass on wack rappers like I'm passing some gas Sucka MCs I hate them too In the pool you get stroked like Netanyahu Hey Generic, the other day, at the arcade, This wack rapper said you couldn't spit hot fire, You know what I did? I tripled his score at Galaga I hate wack rappers, hate them right in the ass I'll go get the bitches, and I'll go get the cash Sucka MCs I hate them too I'm going human to human like the Asian Bird Flu You're addicted to crank like a hurdy gurdy player Take off them tights cuz you know I'm the mayor I put the bass in your face like a money shot I'm dropping mad French on you like I was Jacque Chirac I want you beakers, your hymens, your mortars and pestles Cuz we're rhyme chemists who like our virgins vestal I got mad evil plans like I was cobra commander We'll put your mom on the street and watch that bitch pander Party People at the Yacht Club all demand her I hate wack rappers, hate them right in the ass I'll bite em like a lion like CS Lewis Sucka MCs I hate them too I'll stab you like Dingaan did to Shaka Zulu I'm the wack rapper and I'm here to say You're beats are so old they wear a toupee Your rhymes are so cheap you got them two for one But they don't make no sense: Gotterdammerung God-dawg that what I mean, These Sucka MCs Drinking my Mickey's and counting my beans Sneaking in my window late at night Thiefing my tobacco and smoking my pipes Reading in my books and folding the pages Talking to my boss trying to garner my wages I hate them more than the Reds hate the Krauts More than arsons hate Snout Spout, I'm out.

H-E-F-F  [top] Best yourself cuz you can't break me I keep on keeping on like a GLC Kickin' back more often the GOP I blow up in your grill like an IED Cuz I got more game than a PSP I'll turn you're on if you're off like OCD To receive my steeze pay me COD Please believe I'll squeeze your G-SPOT We mail more records than BMG And exchange more Gs then the SEC We can buy more cyborgs than the OCP Chucky Cheese can't even top the RYC Cuz we're untoppable and practically unstoppable Damn near impossible to get me off the honor roll Clowning like a carnival, I'll throw you like a dinner roll Cursin' so horrible I'll send you to McGonnagall Your tenets are untenable, your weltanschauung's cynical Your presence is intolerable like Portugal in Senegal I'm telling you it's terrible to disregard my parable So open up your ear-hole while I lay it out in syllables H-E-F-F-M I-N-S-T-E R-D-E-L-A R-O-C-A Banging SLUTs in SUVs Scoring MOMs like SATs Let's his participle dangle like the OED Got that RYC on your MP3 Heffminster! Preaching the gospel like a minister Sporting leather pants cuz his game is so tight Shaking MCs up like a glass of Crystal Light Makes loot all day, and he mostly comes at night Mostly Spreading dope rhymes like he's passing VD Ladies hanging on his flows like his NUTs Gets more tail than the SPCA Starts a rap battle like Picard says "engage" Kicks the bass like the WWF Got a higher body count than the ATF Knocking out teeth like a hit of crystal meth How do you spell relief? H-E double F H-E-F-F-M I-N-S-T-E R-D-E-L-A R-O-C-A I was chilling at the crib with DJDDS We were getting kinda bored so we called up Heff Heffminster said Yo I'll have to call you later I'm gleaming the cube with my man Christian Slater I got Powell-Parelta, Generic got his Nash He buckled on his helmet and his purple knee-pads We got to his place and we checked the back yard He was sitting in his underwear drinking Boones Farm What's the deal Heff, why you trying to lie? Where the hell's Christian Slater, you aint got no half-pipe? You got it all wrong, CS was just here All we had was Boone's Farm so he went to get some beer Why you gotta lie, man, you're acting kinda rude You can't gleam the cube if you're not wearing shoes We're gonna do some Ollies in the park down the block We're rolling over there, looks like you'll have to walk Me and that monkey grabbed our boards and walked away As we got to the front we heard Chilly Heff say: I'm not trying to piss you off or give you any guff But if you leave now you won't get to meet Kuffs All your whining and crying won't do you any good And besides, I don't want to meet that fag from Robin Hood And then a semi drove past, from beneath its wheels Christian Slater on his board with a case of beers He was like: H-E-F-F-M I-N-S-T-E R-D-E-L-A R-O-C-A

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